Creepy Santa

About 8 years ago we lived in a quaint little town, north of Kansas City called Parkville, MO.  I had a friend there named Amy, also known as Crazy Amy depending on which neighbor you talked to…  I jest!  No one called her Crazy Amy (to her face.)  Anywhoo, Amy was my nearest and dearest in the 23 months that we lived there. 

Our last Christmas there, I was hanging out at Amy’s and on her front porch was this really awful looking Santa doll.  He was well worn, the fabric of his coat forming little beadies and he had a face that…only a mother could love.  He had a baby doll body with a full grown Santa face which made for a creepy Invasion Of The Body Snatchers effect. 

“Amy, what the hell is that?”  I asked pointing in the direction of Creepy Santa.

“Oh, he’s just an old Santa,”  she sort of sighed.  Apparently he was an antique of sorts and used to be her Aunts or her Mothers…I can’t really remember what sort of crazy story she made up.

“Ew…Amy!  He’s got to go!  He’s going to scare the kids!”

We had some good laughs at Creepy Santa’s expense and then went on with our visit.

On Christmas Eve, Amy stopped by on her way out to a party or to see family (the particulars are lost to me now) and to give me a gift.  I immediately felt terrible because I had no gift for her! 

“Oh thank you!  Amy.  You are too sweet.  You always think of things like this!  Just too sweet!” 

I went on and on as I unwrapped the gift to reveal a shoe box.  I had no idea what Amy could possibly have found that made her think of me and was pondering that as I lifted the lid of the shoe box and found…[enter stabbing Psycho music here]…CREEPY SANTA!

I think I screamed and Amy wickedly laughed.

“Oh….thank you…so…much….”  I forced out.

“Hahaha!  I just knew you’d love it!” Amy chortled.  That wicked little elf was so pleased with herself!

I had so much fun with my Amy friend and then we moved that Spring.  😦   Movers came and they packed all of our things and we found ourselves in Texas once again.  We lived with my mom for a few months and then found ourselves a home in Magnolia.  All of the packed boxes back in MO were moved down to Texas and the unpacking process began.  You can imagine my horror when, for the second time, I opened a box to find Creepy Santa staring up at me.

“NoooOOoOooooooOOoo!”

And so began a fun game of shipping Creepy Santa back and forth between my home in Texas and Amy’s home in Missouri.  Sometimes we would go a year or two without Santa making an appearance.  Somehow he made it with us in our move to Colorado.  When I went to visit Amy last January, I brought him in my suitcase and left him propped on the pillows of the guest bed.

One crispy cold day this December, I was driving up our road and noticed that the mail man had balanced a box on top of our mailbox. 

Yea!  Christmas gifts are arriving!!!

I pulled over and carefully placed the box in the front passenger seat.  One of my favorite parts about Christmas are the packages and all the cards you get!  So fun!  I’m a card girl.  I send cards all the time to my friends and I absolutely love getting unexpected mail from them!

Once home I set the package and the cards on top of the kitchen table.  I put on a pot of hot water and settled in to open all of my goodies!  The box would be first.  It was from Amy! 

What a surprise!  That Amy…she shouldn’t have.  She’s so thoughtful.  So sweet.

I know.  How could I have not for-seen?  Second verse same as the first, I opened the box to find…[enter stabbing Psycho music here]…CREEPY SANTA!!!!

Curses!  I’ve got him again!

On the up side, I decided it would be fun to surprise the kids with him when they got home.  I found a special place for him, sat back with my mug of hot water and waited….

So began a new tradition with Creepy Santa: Hide and Seek.  It’s mostly been between Man and I.  I have found him under my pillow, spying from behind the computer and other various places.  It doesn’t matter where you find him, that creepy face sends chills through you every time. 

Once I had him straddle the coffee maker.  Another time he waited for Man to open his drawer and then…[enter stabbing Psycho music here]…

bad santa1 CREEPY SANTA!!

Yesterday I was dutifully putting away the clean dishes when Creepy Santa jumped out at me from the Lazy Susan in the pots and pans cabinet.  OK, he didn’t actually jump out but that’s how it felt when I spun the Lazy Susan around and then…[enter stabbing Psycho music here]….CREEPY SANTA!  I about had a heart attack.

I grabbed Creepy Santa, none too tenderly, and stomped off to find Man.  He was no where to be found as he often slips away into seclusion on the weekend.  I noticed his favorite sweatshirt was laid out on our bed.

He must be in the house or he’d have his favorite sweatshirt on…

And then I knew what to do.

bad santa2
bad santa3
I have no idea where Creepy Santa is at present.  I’m on alert though.  He will not catch me by surprise again but if he does….vengeance will be mine.

 

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About buddyandbug

Man and I moved from Texas to Colorado with Buddy and Bug. This blog is a chronicle of our adventures as we deal with homesickness and adjust to Mountain Living. “If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!” ~ Shel Silverstein
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