The election is over! Quite frankly, I have been as indifferent to it as I have been to everything else in my life. I’m so glad it will be off of Facebook and tv and…let’s move on! There were some great posts on Facebook after it was said and done. The winners basically said “yea” but here were my favorite responses were from my friends who may not have been so thrilled with last nights results but know how to take it.
It’s a bright new day folks! On my to do list:
1: get high
2: bust leg and get it fixed for free
3: get a mammogram at planned parenthood.
4: watch Sesame Street.
Should be noted that this is a Coloradoan. Amendment 64 passed legalizing marijuana for adults. I’m kind of confused on this as I thought it was already legal in this state…Not federally but…
Does amendment 64 passing mean that there will be a weed section at the Walgreens counter?
Instead of watching election results, I installed a ceiling fan. It was far more productive and infinitely more fun. And, the results of the installation will actually make a difference in my life.
Thanks Matt. You were on a role!
I’m thankful for BIG govt. How would I get along without being told EXACTLY how to manage every aspect of my life?*
One $6Billion election later…I’m going to bed in the same country I woke up in…nighty night everyone!
And my number one pick:
Now I’m not saying the wrong guy won, and I’m not saying the right guy lost – I’m just wondering…out of 314 million Americans, these two were the top choices?!
Oh my friends! You make me laugh! I’m with you. Every election I am completely disheartened and disenchanted. I would love to see a socially liberal but fiscally conservative America. An America where the government let’s me take care of myself on the homefront while they take care of us on the international level.
In other news:
I had a very amusing morning with my children. We had the usual morning experience of children moving in Super Slow Speed. We were loading up in the car when I realized I forgot my sunglasses.
“You guys load up. I’ll be right back!” I went back into the house, climbed up stairs, grabbed my sunglasses and strolled back down the stairs and to the car. When I got out to the car Buddy was still not in.
“How is that possible Buddy?”
“What? I was trying to arrange everything.”
“You are quite possibly the slowest child I’ve ever met. And there are a lot of slow children.” We both laughed and I suggested that his Mega Moose comic book character should have a side kick named Sloth Boy.
“No way! Sloth’s are creepy!” he argued.
“No they’re not! They are adorable! You kind of look like one actually. My lands, I gave birth to a sloth. How did this happen?”
“Mom, Guess what I just realized?” Bug asked.
“I’m a homophone.”
K. I’m not gonna lie. My heart skipped a beat and I said, “Well, OK!” Then my brain re-processed what I’d just heard.
“OH! Yeah. You’re right Bug.” I can’t go into the details because that would reveal his true name and I don’t actually know all of you readers but…well, hey, I can make it work with Bug… So I said something like, “Bug is the name of a boy and it also means an insect AND it can mean that something is annoying. I wonder if a word means more than one thing but sounds the same if it is still called a homophone? Maybe it has a different name…”
Once to school Sloth Boy stayed true to his name and took 2000 years to get out of the car with his backpack and trumpet.
“You’re totally a sloth.”
“No he’s not Mom! Sloth’s are ugly!” Bug argued.
“They’re not. They are adorable. I’ll show you some pictures.”
While Buddy is in band practice Bug and I sit in the library together and read books or finish homework. Today we Googled sloths. While we marveled at their adorable-ness, one of my favorite little girls at the school joined us. I’m going to call her Gretel because she played Gretel in The Sound of Music. Gretel doesn’t make a move with out a big ol’ bow on her head and she is a screaming riot!
“That’s a girl one,” Gretel said pointing to one of the pictures.
“Really? How do you know?” I asked.
“Because she’s smiling. The boys look more like this…” she said while making a weird straight mouthed expression. “The girls smile pretty.”
“Where did you learn this?”
“I watched a show called Cutest Animals Ever…or something. They also only poop once a week.”
“Yeah. They hug a tree, smile and then poop. It takes them about half an hour.”
“You don’t say? Half an hour to poop?”
Bug was doubled over with laughter because we were talking about poop. I thought what a great couple Bug and Gretel would make, you know, if he’s not a homophone. I continued to Google information on sloths and I was able to verify what Gretel said was indeed true. I also learned that they are an excellent pet.
“Oh my lands! Bug! One can get a pet sloth! You have to get a special licence to have such an exotic pet but… I want one.”
“Really?” Bug asked. “I think I’ll ask Santa. He got us Drake so I’m sure he could get us a sloth.”
“You should get an adult one,” Gretel advised. “The babies can be difficult to care for because they have really bad allergies.”
“Good to know. Thanks.”
About this time I got a text from a friend:
Friend: I’m moving to Colorado.
Me: Shut up. Wait…is this about amendment 64?
Friend: 🙂 What are you doing?
Me: I’m researching pet sloths.
Friend: Alrighty then. Taking advantage of 64 already?
Me: I just learned they only poop once a week. They hug a tree and smile really big. Half an hour later there’s poop.
Friend: Wow. I need to find a tree to hug.
Me: Still having trouble huh? Have you tried smiling?
Friend: Smiling! That’s what I’m missing…
Best morning I’ve had in a long time!