Man: I want to buy these shirts for the kids:
Me: They would love ’em! I noticed it says that zombies and robots have no emotions. Am I going to wake up one night to find you trying to eat my brains?
When Man came home from work the other night he held me in his arms and loving gazed upon my face…
Man: I really like the red lipstick on you.
Me: Really? Since when? You’ve always told me that you don’t like red lipstick.
Man: Yeah but…it’s so pretty today. The blue-black hair, red lips….white…teeth…
Me: Mmm…baby. You really know how to make a girl feel…patriotic.