When My Man is out-of-town I always have a hard time sleeping. I stay up later, since there is no one to snuggle up to in bed, and watch tv or play computer games. Or blog. Two weeks ago he was gone for a week. I would got to bed around 11 or 12 and then wake up around 2:30 or 3, unable to fall back to sleep until around 5:30. I chalked it up to Man’s absence but then he came home and the sleepless nights continued.
I discussed it with my doctor to see if the meds I’m taking were inducing insomnia. It’s not a typical side effect and he diagnosed a restless brain. I lay there think, think, thinking. With man back in my bed I was going to bed earlier and each night I would sleep a little later. I’d wake up at 2:30, the next night 3:30, and so forth until I made it all the way to 5:30. I was sure I was getting back on track.
Man is out-of-town again this week and once again I am wide awake at 2 a.m. Arrgh! It’s really frustrating. I love to sleep because I love the rest but also because I have such vivid dreams. I can smell, feel textures, and taste in my dreams. Color always plays a big part. The dreams are very detailed. I had a dream awhile back where I was at a house. I’d never been in this house but I could draw you the floor plan. The many boxes filling the rooms told me that the occupants had just moved in. There was a beautiful barn wood table in the dining area. My parents were sitting at that table. Dad at the head, Mom to his left. My sister-in-law was hanging a colorful painting on the wall near the dining area. It was a large canvas painting and was very abstract. While she was hanging the picture my Mom was arguing with me about something I had said. What I said, I can’t remember now but in the dream I told her I had never said such a thing.
“Yes, you did,” she insisted. “You said it right here!”
“Mom, this is a new house. I’ve never been in it, so obviously I did not say it ‘right here.'”
“Not here in this house. Here at this table!”
I woke up angry and frustrated.
Another dream I had Man and I were staying at a hotel for a convention or something. He had golfed that day and I was meeting him back in the room so we could dress for a cocktail reception. I rode up on the elevator with a gentleman who had about 4 dozen red roses in a huge vase. They were GORGEOUS and their smell filled the elevator. I told him how beautiful they were. I left the elevator at my floor and went to our room. The shower was running as Man was already there getting ready. There was an ironing board set up and some woman in a suit. This part displeased me at first but then I saw that she had binders of swatches of fabric. I sat with her at the desk in the hotel room, fingering the fabrics to choose one for her to make a suit out of for Man. We also chose his tie for the evening. I remember a gold tweed that was rough to the touch.
So many dreams that I remember. Certain ones just stick with me.
Monday morning I woke up at 2:30. I was wiped all day. I got the kids to school, saw my chiropractor, drove home and crawled back into bed. Caren text that they were baking at her house and I should come over but I wasn’t in the mood. I closed my eyes and slept for about an hour. I woke up because my chickens were making a ton of noise. I thought I better check on them and make sure nothing was eating them. I passed a mirror on the way out. To say my hair was disheveled is a kindness. No make up. My super thick glasses making my blood shot eyes appear beady. The cat had napped on me so there was cat hair on me.
“Wow,” I said to my reflection.
The chickens were fine but the dogs were jumping all over me, adding their fur and slobber to my couture. Despite my unkempt look, I decided to run to the store. This mornign the kids had complained of a lack of ingredients for their lunches. I grabbed a few things for them and then made an executive decision to buy a bag of Tostito Lime Chips.
“My head is not coming out of it until I reach the bottom,” I texted a friend.
Sadly, I only made it half way through when my tongue started to shrivel up like a dried apricot.
Last night I slept until 2 a.m. I woke up because I heard a loud boom and felt the wall shake. May have been a dream, now that I think about it but initially I thought it was a bear getting into our garage. I climbed on top of my dresser and peered out the window to the driveway below. Nothing. I laid awake for about an hour and then went back to sleep. I dreamed.
(Interesting note: though there was no bear at our house, my friend Kathy had a bear break into their garage last night. Ruined the garage door, broke a window and ate the food in her freezer.)
My Grandma was on the phone. She was on the phone with me but in my dream I just saw her. She was sitting at a chair in her kitchen, her hair was the same brown curly coif that it’s been for years. Her glasses were the ones she had in the 80s though. Found that interesting… Anyway, she was on the phone and I could hear her voice clear as ever and she said, “I have been trying and trying to call you but every time I do I can’t hear your voice.” She said what I should’ve been saying. So funny!
Then I dreamed that I was in Albuquerque visiting family. We were meeting at an old plaza type shopping area called Old Town. I saw my Aunt Marilyn first. She had aged dramatically and I thought how hard this year must’ve been for her. I hugged Marilyn and behind her I saw my Grandma. I went to hug her and then I realized it wasn’t Grandma but her sister. I whispered to my great-aunt that I had mistaken her for Grandma. We both started to cry and, still in our embrace, crumbled to the ground.
I woke up at 4:30.
Despite the lack of sleep, I feel really great today. I’m tired but emotionally I am…I don’t know…happy? Bug said that he had a disease called Happyjoyfulitis.
“You know when you have it because you say ‘Yea’ all the time,” he explained to me.
“I hope it’s contagious!” I said.
“I’m pretty sure it is. You catch it from hugs and kisses. The only cure is to watch horror movies or look at scary pictures.”
“Well, we don’t want to do that.”
“Nope. I like this disease and I hope to never be cured!”
Maybe that’s why I felt so great this morning. Maybe I’ve caught a little Happyjoyfulitis. I hope sleep comes with that.