“Mom, I am making my New Year’s resolution now,” Bug announced this morning. “From now on I’m going to have a good attitude and obey you. I will do what you say the first time you ask for a whole year.”
“Wow, Bug! That will be really tough!”
“I know. But it will make you happy right?”
Yikes. The boys are completely attuned to what I am going through but unsure of what’s going on. Obviously they feel responsible.
“Buddy, Bug, Come here. I want to talk to you. Look at my face. I am very unhappy. I am sad because my Grandma died. I am not unhappy with you or Daddy. You all make me happy. Being obedient and having a good attitude would definitely help me but it is not why you make me happy. It’s not why I love you.”
“How long is this going to last?” Buddy asked.
Wouldn’t we all like to know?
It’s 10:00 p.m. here. Late for where I am. An hour later for my Texas people. I have no idea if Man and I are in the same time zone or not. I tried to call him but it went straight to voicemail.
I’ve prayed. I’ve tried “talking” to Grandma. I sent texts to an unresponsive friend just to feel like someone was actually hearing me. The best thing to do would be to sleep.
I was crying in the basement and Bug called down the stairs, “Mommy? Are you crying?”
“Nope,” I lied cheerily. “Just playing with the dogs. Go back to bed pumpkin.”
That’s where I’m headed. Bed.