Remember that old Cadbury Easter Egg commercial with the bunny sittin’ there, nose twitchin’ and going, “bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, buckaw?!” Well, my chickens don’t do that. They cheap and they cluck but they are not noisey at all. Last year the boys and I took a road trip and at one of the gas stations we stopped at there was a vending type machine with a big chicken in it. If you fed it a dollar the chicken would light up and start to bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, buckaw! until she laid a plastic egg. The egg would drop down a chute and into your giddy little child’s hand. Inside would be some sort of plastic jewelry or tattoo, well worth their mother’s dollar.
At about 5 a.m. this morning I was jerked out of my dream about being a figure skater/undercover agent by the very loud and obnoxious “bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, buckaw, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, buckaw!” The ladies have never made noise like this before! It was definitely only one of them. the bawk was loud and the buckaw sounded like a clown was blasting a horn. Somehow, the bawk never stopped while the buckaw sounded. Concerned that something was disturbing the chickens, I ran out onto the deck to scare away anything that might be out there. The bawk, buckaw continued despite my bursting onto the scene. Sleepiness suddenly hit me, remembering that it was 5 a.m. and that I was just in deep sleep. I shuffled back to bed.
“What’s going on out there?” Aaron mumbled barely lifting his head to watch me make my way across the room.
“No idea. Nothing is out there. Maybe someone is laying an egg.” The thought of getting our first egg was like a jolt of caffeine. I couldn’t fall back to sleep as I listened to our hen bawk bawk buckaw and I imagined that she was working out her first egg. After 10 minutes of the ruckus I rolled over to Aaron and said, “I’m sure the first one is painful. It may be awhile….”
The noises continued, 5:45, 5:50, 6:00….finally at about 6:30 there was quiet.
I must’ve drifted back to sleep because it wasn’t until 7:15 that I woke up again, this time to Bug asking when the heck his friends were coming home from their vacation.
“Today Bug. But not until the afternoon. Or maybe the evening. I don’t know, but don’t ask me all day.”
“Well, if they turn around and leave on another trip tomorrow I will LOSE it!”
“I know Bug. They aren’t going anywhere after this. I don’t think…”
Then I remembered the chickens.
“Hey Bug! The chickens were making a ton of noise early this morning! I think someone may have laid an egg!”
“What?! Let’s go mom! Come on, come on! Get your shoes on!” he ordered as I slid out of bed and slipped into flip flops.
“I’ve got shoes on Bug. You get yours on.”
“When are you going to buy me new chicken boots?”
“Soon. I keep forgetting.” Chicken boots are goulashes. The boys wore nothing else when they were toddlers. It was great because they didn’t have to tie their shoes but stayed on better than crocks or flip flops. They wore them with shorts, jeans, and even to church.
Bug grabbed chicken feed and I grabbed my camera in order to record our first egg! I let Bug into the hen yard and he filled their feed dish while I let the ladies out of the coop. There were the regular cheeps and clucks but nothing more exciting than that.
“Nothing in here…” Bug said as he peered inside the roosting box section of the coop.
I opened the little door on the side. “Nothing in here either….” I said with disappointment.
We both moved over to the front door of the coop, squatted down low and peered into the bottom of the coop.
“Nothing,” Bug said. “What day is it?”
“I don’t know…July 14th.”
“They said they would lay in July!” Bug said through a pout.
“Well, that was an estimated time, Bug. A guess. And we still have a lot of July left.”
So, no egg. Just a lot of noise. Sort of like when an infant finds the ability to babble or shriek and then they do it over and over to hear their own voice and to experiment with sounds; I think thats what was going on. I think it was Helen. She was clucking with a bit of volume when we were in the coop. Who knows. I would have been much happier to wake up at 5 a.m. from an awesome dream, if there was an egg to reward me. Now I’ll never know if I got out of that jam I was in. Despite switching cars, the bad guys had just caught me and their motives were being revealed….