What NOT To Do At An Audition

Well…poop.  That’s all I have to say about that.  Actually, I have a few other choice words but “poop” sums it up so perfectly.

Yesterday were The Sound Of Music Auditions.  My appointment was at 12:30 and I sang a not very well known song called “So Far” from Show Boat.  (I think.)  I felt like my performance was nice, though I don’t know that it was anything very memorable.  The fact that the song was different was probably the most stand out thing about it.  And my shoes.  I wore really pretty shoes.

I did manage to wrangle a call-back with the performance and so went back again today.  At a call-back, one can expect to be auditioned on their dance and acting ability.  Also, they want to see how people look together and chemistry.  For today’s call-back I did not have to dance (always a blessing.)

There were three of us who were called back for the role of the Baroness.  One was my friend Becky who out did me for the role of Eva Peron in Evita last fall.  The other was a lady I had never met but that Becky knew.  She was very cool and relaxed while Becky and I were fanning out our sweaty armpits.

Awesome.

I don’t know how well this other gal sings but according to Becky she is the consummate actress.

Damn.

The director gave a part of the script to The Consummate Actress, a Captain, and a Maria.  They had time to read over it a few times and then they were just about to go through it together when the director called them into the theater to perform it.

When it was over he gave the scripts to Becky, a new Captain, and a new Maria.  I asked The Consummate Actress how she felt about it.

“Well, I would have preferred to have had a run through with the other actors first…” she said with disatisfaction (while she put on a fabulous coat, it must be said!) “…but I guess it was OK.”

Becky read over the script and ran through it with her group. She let me look at it but I could barely read it.  My nerves were in over drive.  I did not have a good grip on what the scene was about.

They were called back to perform.

Then the director called me in.

“Take a minute took look over your part,” he said as he handed me the script.

I read it as I took the stage and a bit while on stage.  I could feel the pressure of a whole room of people waiting on me.  I read it once and said I was ready.  It was a terrible lie.

The other actors and I read through the scene.  Rather, I read it and they preformed it.  I did a wonderful job as a Stand In.

Poop, poop, poopity poop!  It was so lame.

I showed them that I could read.  That’s what I did.

As I was gathering up my things the choreographer came out in the lobby for some reason and she gave me a sad face that basically said, So sorry!

Argh.  What a bomb.

So, I am thinking I will make a lovely nun.  It’s my mother’s dream come true.

Of course, I thought that I nailed the Evita adution and didn’t get that.  Maybe I’m really off on this too.  SO VERY DOUBTFUL.

While sitting Buddy and Bug down to dinner I said, “Well, boys…I blew my audition.”

“What?!  No way!”  They said.

“The directors just don’t know what good acting is!” ranted Bug.

“No Bug, they do.  I just didn’t do a good job.”

“That’s impossible because you are AMAZING!” Bug said.

“Yeah,” agreed Buddy.  “You are the best singer I have ever heard, Mom!”

I have fans…

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About buddyandbug

Man and I moved from Texas to Colorado with Buddy and Bug. This blog is a chronicle of our adventures as we deal with homesickness and adjust to Mountain Living. “If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!” ~ Shel Silverstein
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