First World Problems

My week started alright but Tuesday morning began at 2 a.m. when Bug threw up on the kitchen floor.  The splatjectory was far and wide.  I could tell there was more to come and tried to shoo him into the bathroom while I hurdled his puddle.  Bug got a foot from the toilet and erupted again onto the bathroom floor.  I cleaned him up and tucked him back into the bed with a trash can by his side.  I then did some puddle jumping (and I don’t mean the jet setting kind) to the laundry room where I got some old nasty towels to do round one of clean up.  I followed that up with a mop and then Clorox wipes.  Then I gathered up all of the nasty towels and clothes and started a load of laundry. 

Finally I could get back into bed.  Just as I started to doze off The Bug threw up again.

In his bed. 

He continued to throw up every hour and half until 10 a.m.  I got little rest in between because the kid never made it to the trash can or toilet so there was always a mess to clean up.  My dear husband was out of town for work.  For the billionth time I wished that my job required me to travel.  Alone.

By Wednesday evening I too was feeling a bit under the weather and looking rather peaked.  I held on to the promise that the boys would be at school the following day and I could sleep off this nasty thing.

Thursday morning Bug puked again.  He had no fever, felt great and only spewed a tad.  If it had been at the bus stop I would’ve sent him on to school so I could go to bed but it was in the school lobby so we were busted.

Today we are all right as rain!  Well…almost.  I have a sinus infection but the z-pac is going to kick in any minute…

To treat myself, I decided to get my eyebrows waxed and a facial.  I’ve been wanting a facial for months but it had not been working out.  It’s something that I do probably once or twice a year.  It’s hard for me to allow myself the luxury of just laying on my back for an hour doing nothing.

A post on Facebook regarding my facial began a thread that reminded me of another spa experience: The Mud Wrap.

My husband scheduled a whole day at the spa for me.  This day included a massage, pedicure, facial and mud wrap.  I was literally there ALL day!  I had never experienced any of these treatments except the pedicure so I was very excited.  I was very excited until I found out that I would spend the majority of the day naked.

For all intents and purposes I am just going to focus my tale on the Mud Wrap. 

I was asked to undress and shown where robes, spa panties, and slippers could be found.  I knew I would be naked but I thought that I would be directed to a private room with a tub full of mud.  The door would close and in privacy I would drop the robe and slowly lower myself in to the tub.

Nope.  Nah-uh.

Instead I was directed to a room with a rather clinical looking table/bed.  I was told to disrobe and to get comfortable under the blankets, face down.  The esthetician would return when I was ready.  I did as I was told and waited.

Should I call to her to let her know I’m ready?  Where is the mud?  I must be getting my  massage first…

When she returned she carried a large mixing bowl full of mud and a paint brush.  I quickly put it together that the mud would be painted on to my nude body.  A body that I can hardly stand to look at myself was going to be revealed to a total stranger and be painted on.  (This was Before Children, B.C., you know so I still had some modesty.) 

She began by pulling the blanket back to only reveal my legs.  This was no problem.  I have always been happy with my legs.  The room was warm and the mud was cool.  It was a rather pleasant sensation until…

Woo hoo!

Yeah, she got that high.

She then took, what was basically, Saran Wrap and wrapped up my muddy legs.  My legs were re-covered with the blanket and then the top half was pulled down to expose my back.  The painting commenced. Saran Wrap was laid on my back.  Then while she held the blanket up high to give me some privacy (ha!) I was told to roll over to my back.  Special coins of fabric were laid over my closed eyes.  My arms were then covered with mud followed by my torso.  As I laid there with my breasts bared  I awkwardly laughed and apologized to her for having to look at my gross body.

“Please.  I see all kinds of bodies all day.  Trust me, yours is nothing to apologize for.”

Tip fisher.

At last my whole body was covered in mud and wrapped in Saran Wrap.  After arranging my body with my arms down by my side, she then tightly wrapped the blankets around me.  This was then followed by a foil blanket.  I felt as sensuous as a Free Bird burrito.

“Just lie here and relax,” she whispered in my ear.  “I’ll be back in about 30 minutes.”


At this point my nose began to itch.  And a spot behind my knee.  Then the top of my head. I wiggled in my cocoon but then got scared that I might roll off.  I laid there in the dark, listening to some sort of tinkling music that had rain sounds in the back ground.

Great.  Now I have to pee.

I wondered if this was what it was like for those people who are conscious during surgery but not awake.  No ability to move.  Darkness.  No way to communicate. 

Except this is a luxury and I am not being sliced open.  Thank God for that.


The burrito was finally done!  The esthetician returned.

“How was that?  So relaxing, isn’t it?” she asked while she unwrapped me.

“Yeah.  It was great.”

The treatment itself was not so fun but I do recall loving the results!  My skin was so soft and literally glowed!  I might would even do it again, knowing now what to expect.  Especially now that I have kids and 30 minutes of lying on my back and doing nothing is wildly cherished.

At the end of the thread on Facebook another friend commented, “First world problems.”

So true!  Even though the experience was not all that pleasant to me, how ridiculous is my life that a day at the spa can even conjure up a complaint! 

Waaagh!  My diamond shoes are too tight.



About buddyandbug

Man and I moved from Texas to Colorado with Buddy and Bug. This blog is a chronicle of our adventures as we deal with homesickness and adjust to Mountain Living. “If you are a dreamer,come in. If you are a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic-bean-buyer. If you're a pretender, come sit by my fire, for we have some flax-golden tales to spin. Come in! Come in!” ~ Shel Silverstein
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